BEING OLD, FAT, AND UGLY
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Add 1 or 2 more pieces and check out as one bundle.
BEING OLD, FAT, AND UGLY
LAS VEGAS
DOGS - YELLOW LAB
DOGS - WESTIE
PEOPLE - MEAT SACKS
PEOPLE - LOUD CHEWERS
DOGS - BEAGLE
DOGS - BOXER
DOGS - BULLDOG
What You're Buying.
THIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S A MOBILE BILLBOARD FOR THE TRUTH. Being Old, Fat, and Ugly. Fucking Sucks! Would NOT Recommend. Carry your shit (and your honesty) in style. Durable canvas, strong handles, printed loud so the grocery store knows exactly what time it is. If this tote doesn’t start conversations you’re not ready for, we’ll throw in free awkward silence—no questions asked. Carry the rage. Rock the One Star.
Product features
- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g/m²)
- Boxed corners for extra carrying space
- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength
- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching
- 18 inches by 18 inches
Care instructions
- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.
FAQ
Common questions before you check out.
01 Does this run small or large?
Runs boxy and true to size. If you're between sizes, order down for a closer fit. The 4XL is genuinely 4XL.
02 Will the print crack or fade?
No. Print is direct-to-garment, tested for 100+ wash cycles before any fade.
03 Can I return it after wearing?
Yes — 60-day rage-back guarantee. If you wear it once and hate it, send it back.
04 How long does shipping take?
Ships in 72 hours. US orders arrive in 3–5 business days from there. Free shipping on every order.
05 Can I get a discount on multiple shirts?
Yes — use the bundle picker on the homepage. 20% off when you pick 2 or 3.