RETURN TO OFFICE - MICROWAVE FISH
Make it a kit.
Add 1 or 2 more pieces and check out as one bundle.
RETURN TO OFFICE - MICROWAVE FISH
DOGS - PIT BULL
HOA
HOA - MAILBOX
DAYLIGHT SAVINGS
CRUISE SHIPS
CRUISE SHIPS - NOROVIRUS
AIRPORTS
CILANTRO
What You're Buying.
THIS AIN’T JUST A T-SHIRT—IT’S A FUCKING CRIME-SCENE TAPE FOR THE RETURN TO MISERY MASSACRE! Blasted with “RTO = RETURN TO MISERY. Congrats, I just paid $20 in gas so I can use a $2,000 monitor while Karen microwaves fish and Chad coughs Covid on the entire floor.” across legendary Comfort Colors pigment-dyed cotton that smells better than the entire open-plan floor ever will, this black biohazard drops in 13 savage colors but pure plague in kick-ass black! Sizes S-4XL for every remote survivor dragged back into the petri dish, custom-printed on demand because my immune system just quit. If this shirt doesn’t make Karen choke on her own tilapia, we’ll nuke hell’s microwave—no questions asked! Wear the misery. Burn the fish. Rock the One Star like the final boss who brought a gas mask and a resignation letter!
Product features - Available in multiple sizes from S to 4XL - Double-needle stitching for durability - Garment-dyed fabric for soft color and texture - Made with 100% ring-spun US cotton for comfort Care instructions - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F) - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam, or dry: low heat - Do not dry clean
FAQ
Common questions before you check out.
01 Does this run small or large?
Runs boxy and true to size. If you're between sizes, order down for a closer fit. The 4XL is genuinely 4XL.
02 Will the print crack or fade?
No. Print is direct-to-garment, tested for 100+ wash cycles before any fade.
03 Can I return it after wearing?
Yes — 60-day rage-back guarantee. If you wear it once and hate it, send it back.
04 How long does shipping take?
Ships in 72 hours. US orders arrive in 3–5 business days from there. Free shipping on every order.
05 Can I get a discount on multiple shirts?
Yes — use the bundle picker on the homepage. 20% off when you pick 2 or 3.