LAS VEGAS - HOOKERS
Make it a kit.
Add 1 or 2 more pieces and check out as one bundle.
LAS VEGAS - HOOKERS
HOA
HOA - MAILBOX
DAYLIGHT SAVINGS
CRUISE SHIPS
CRUISE SHIPS - NOROVIRUS
AIRPORTS
CILANTRO
GROUP TEXTS
What You're Buying.
THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR TRAUMA BLANKET FOR EVERYONE STILL BROKE FROM THE $800 GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE THAT NEVER SHOWED! Blasted with the full “HOOKERS WHO QUOTE HOURLY RATES LIKE STOCKBROKERS” indictment across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton cozier than the fantasy they sold you, this hooded regret fortress hits in 8 savage colors and every damn one is as salty as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every soul currently eating ramen because some chick quoted like Goldman Sachs, custom-printed on demand because real girlfriends don’t have surge pricing! If this hoodie doesn’t make promoters hide their Rolodex, we’ll day-trade hell’s happy endings until you’re grinning—no questions asked! Hood the hustle. Worship the hate. Wear the One Star like the final boss who stays warm wrapped in pure, overpriced loneliness!
Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
FAQ
Common questions before you check out.
01 Does this run small or large?
Runs boxy and true to size. If you're between sizes, order down for a closer fit. The 4XL is genuinely 4XL.
02 Will the print crack or fade?
No. Print is direct-to-garment, tested for 100+ wash cycles before any fade.
03 Can I return it after wearing?
Yes — 60-day rage-back guarantee. If you wear it once and hate it, send it back.
04 How long does shipping take?
Ships in 72 hours. US orders arrive in 3–5 business days from there. Free shipping on every order.
05 Can I get a discount on multiple shirts?
Yes — use the bundle picker on the homepage. 20% off when you pick 2 or 3.