{"title":"Tote Bags","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"return-to-office-vp-2","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - VP","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “MY WALLET QUIT” LUNCH HAULER FOR EVERYONE STILL PAYING $18 FOR SAD LETTUCE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than one day of parking, this 18x18 mutiny carrier turns every brown-bag walk into a protest march. Shove your real lunch (made at home for $3) while the dual-sided rage makes security sweat. If this tote doesn’t get you waved through the garage for free, we’ll expense hell’s valet—no questions asked! Load the rebellion. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought leftovers and contempt!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54125669941523,"sku":"14006344190752055295","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/10994783267631333851_2048.jpg?v=1778156527"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-traffic-4","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - TRAFFIC","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE EVIDENCE BAG FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH’S HOSTILE-WORKPLACE LAWSUIT! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than one tank of gas, this 18x18 courtroom carrier turns every errand into a deposition. Shove your real lunch and your therapy receipts while the dual-sided rage makes security nervous. If this tote doesn’t get you a corner office settlement, we’ll subpoena hell’s parking—no questions asked! Load the lawsuit. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought leftovers and litigation!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54125688848659,"sku":"21532057934877836635","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/8197388558344548851_2048.jpg?v=1778157444"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-soul-sucking-5","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - SOUL SUCKING","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “YOUR COMFORT IS COLLATERAL DAMAGE” LUNCH HAULER FOR THE RTO REFUGEE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than one square foot of their soul-sucking lease, this 18x18 mutiny carrier turns every break-room walk into a silent lawsuit. Shove your real lunch (eaten in peace) while the dual-sided rage makes the facilities team sweat. If this tote doesn’t get you a permanent “out of office” vibe, we’ll tote hell’s lease—no questions asked! Load the rebellion. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought snacks and a demolition permit!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54125698220307,"sku":"67070329518689508372","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/16104467260432021538_2048.jpg?v=1778158830"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-2","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I’M NOT COMING BACK” LUNCH HAULER FOR THE GREAT RESIGNATION 2.0! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than one day of parking, this 18x18 mutiny carrier turns every grocery run into a public fuck-you to RTO. Shove your real lunch and your resignation letter while the dual-sided rage clears security lines. If this tote doesn’t get you banned from the building, we’ll expense hell’s valet—no questions asked! Load the rebellion. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought leftovers and contempt!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126573977875,"sku":"27854766755817493441","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/15817666281458186608_2048.jpg?v=1778180821"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-regret-5","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - REGRET","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I’M STILL SLACKIN’ FROM THE SHITTER” LUNCH HAULER FOR RTO REFUGEES! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas tougher than the office coffee, this 18x18 rebellion carrier turns every break-room walk into a silent fuck-you to standing desks. Shove your real lunch (eaten in peace) while the dual-sided rage makes the AC Nazi sweat. If this tote doesn’t get you a permanent “out of office” vibe, we’ll tote hell’s thermostat—no questions asked! Load the defiance. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought snacks and a VPN!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126620999955,"sku":"18102680257904237338","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/3189251470272342732_2048.jpg?v=1778181186"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-protein-farts-5","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - PROTEIN FARTS","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “CHAD’S FARTS KILLED MY WILL TO LIVE” LUNCH HAULER FOR OPEN-PLAN SURVIVORS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than Chad’s monthly whey bill, this 18x18 rage carrier turns every brown-bag walk into a public indictment of RTO. Shove your real lunch (made at home for $3) while the dual-sided rage makes Chad back up six feet. If this tote doesn’t get you a personal bubble, we’ll tote hell’s protein powder—no questions asked! Load the rebellion. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought airtight containers and contempt!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126628634899,"sku":"12468139012381135306","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/9641240750029912592_2048.jpg?v=1778181836"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-middle-manager-4","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - MIDDLE MANAGER","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I DECLINED YOUR POINTLESS MEETING” LUNCH HAULER FOR THE REMOTE REVOLUTION! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than one wasted hour in a meeting about meetings, this 18x18 mutiny carrier turns every lunch run into a silent protest. Shove your real food (eaten in peace) while the dual-sided rage makes middle managers clutch their agendas. If this tote doesn’t get you a permanent “out of office” vibe, we’ll tote hell’s calendar—no questions asked! Load the defiance. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought snacks and a hard decline!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126641709331,"sku":"33144706933580408672","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/797187302513289839_2048.jpg?v=1778182520"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-microwave-fish","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - MICROWAVE FISH","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL BODY BAG FOR MY IMMUNE SYSTEM AFTER RTO EXPOSURE TO KAREN’S FISH AND CHAD’S LUNGS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that costs less than one tank of gas, this 18x18 plague carrier turns every lunch run into a public-health warning. Shove your real food (made at home) while the dual-sided rage makes people back up six feet. If this tote doesn’t get you a personal bubble the size of Texas, we’ll biohazard hell’s break room—no questions asked! Load the antibodies. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought hand sanitizer and homicide charges!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126669725971,"sku":"19794459698315978167","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/14902929673341660353_2048.jpg?v=1778182558"},{"product_id":"return-to-office-gaslighting-3","title":"RETURN TO OFFICE - GASLIGHTING","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE PORTABLE DECODER RING FOR CORP GASLIGHTING’S “SERENDIPITOUS” SUFFERING FETISH! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that’s seen less manipulation than an HR memo, this 18x18 truth hauler turns every commute into a public unmasking. Shove your real lunch and your resignation while the dual-sided rage makes voyeur VPs choke on their kale smoothies. If this tote doesn’t get you banned from the building, we’ll hallway hell with hidden cameras—no questions asked! Load the exposé. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought evidence and contempt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126686961939,"sku":"29951894064919285024","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/7459353460955802878_2048.jpg?v=1778184104"},{"product_id":"people-selfish-1","title":"PEOPLE - SELFISH","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “MY TOASTER \u0026gt; YOU” SHOPPING CART FOR THE HUMANITY-DIVORCED! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that smells less offensive than the average stranger, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every grocery run into a public breakup with the species. Shove bread, peanut butter, and your last fuck while the dual-sided truth makes people step aside like you’re contagious. If this tote doesn’t clear the cereal aisle, we’ll bag hell’s breakfast—no questions asked! Load the loaf. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable contempt!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126700069139,"sku":"17438020527135757467","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/17801299961373330533_2048.jpg?v=1778184687"},{"product_id":"people-rude-1","title":"PEOPLE - RUDE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE GOLD-MEDAL GROCERY HAULER FOR THE CHAMPION WHO HATES EVERYONE IN THE STORE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that’s seen less drama than the average checkout line, this 18x18 misanthropy trophy turns every errand into a victory lap. Shove groceries, books, and your last shred of patience while the dual-sided rage clears aisles faster than an Olympic sprinter. If this tote doesn’t make people abandon their carts, we’ll shoplift hell’s podium—no questions asked! Load the truth. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126712684819,"sku":"31175412026287388083","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/1437248852747553399_2048.jpg?v=1778186013"},{"product_id":"people-posting-cringe","title":"PEOPLE - POSTING CRINGE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S A PORTABLE “KEEP BACK 500 FT” SIGN FOR ANYONE HAULING GROCERIES THROUGH DISAPPOINTMENT FACTORY TERRITORY! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that’s seen less bullshit than the average checkout line, this 18x18 rage carrier turns every errand into a public service announcement. Shove your stuff and your last fuck inside while the dual-sided truth clears aisles faster than a fire drill. If this tote doesn’t make people abandon their carts in shame, we’ll shoplift hell’s silence—no questions asked! Load the truth. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126760689939,"sku":"85230569058155637547","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/11596612348132560905_2048.jpg?v=1778186512"},{"product_id":"people-3","title":"PEOPLE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S A PORTABLE BILLBOARD SCREAMING THE TRUTH ABOUT PEOPLE WHILE YOU HAUL YOUR SHIT! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that’s seen less drama than the average human, this 18x18 misanthropy carrier turns every grocery run into a public service announcement! Shove books, groceries, and your last fuck inside while the dual-sided rage clears aisles faster than a fire alarm! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers scan faster out of fear, we’ll bag hell’s population—no questions asked! Load the truth. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126769930515,"sku":"22082001095816147324","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/14049341711864981940_2048.jpg?v=1778187608"},{"product_id":"mahjong-tile-you-need","title":"MAHJONG - TILE YOU NEED","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126792376595,"sku":"13511279201675504757","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/5309330394071303298_2048.jpg?v=1778183540"},{"product_id":"mahjong-quiet-one","title":"MAHJONG - QUIET ONE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126801912083,"sku":"84396747612815824030","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/3830806586887993548_2048.jpg?v=1778184118"},{"product_id":"mahjong-charleston-5","title":"MAHJONG - CHARLESTON","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126817149203,"sku":"16320077419699329696","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/17680195172914610102_2048.jpg?v=1778184481"},{"product_id":"mahjong-bad-passes","title":"MAHJONG - BAD PASSES","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126817214739,"sku":"22841274716456202869","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/6109542662933115196_2048.jpg?v=1778184492"},{"product_id":"mahjong-4","title":"MAHJONG","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126829535507,"sku":"17749465962097261330","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/7069034480729629727_2048.jpg?v=1778184897"},{"product_id":"mahjong-read-the-card-1","title":"MAHJONG - READ THE CARD","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126831239443,"sku":"31503517892687515108","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/13288429545072435960_2048.jpg?v=1778185106"},{"product_id":"mahjong-jokers","title":"MAHJONG - JOKERS","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126840611091,"sku":"20025690660117607092","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/16598169736401937871_2048.jpg?v=1778185117"},{"product_id":"mahjong-just-for-fun","title":"MAHJONG - JUST FOR FUN","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126848344339,"sku":"33343324611010525400","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/11093552056144753111_2048.jpg?v=1778186529"},{"product_id":"mahjong-dead-hand-2","title":"MAHJONG - DEAD HAND","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126860468499,"sku":"15548971444700985703","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/10399323147077227737_2048.jpg?v=1778186162"},{"product_id":"mahjong-bible-5","title":"MAHJONG - BIBLE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126878785811,"sku":"23251450294237716386","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/2368875471997782539_2048.jpg?v=1778186552"},{"product_id":"mahjong-plastic-shit-made-in-china","title":"MAHJONG - PLASTIC SHIT MADE IN CHINA","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “I SURVIVED THE MAHJONG TABLE” CARRY-ALL FOR EVERY WARRIOR HAULING HOME THEIR SHATTERED PRIDE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul wine bottles, quarters, and the ashes of your friendships, this 18x18 rage hauler turns every walk away from the table into a victory parade. Shove your NMJL card, your last joker, and your remaining fucks inside while the dual-sided burn makes strangers step aside. If this tote doesn’t make the next table nervous when you arrive, we’ll tote hell’s tiles—no questions asked! Load the trauma. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable spite!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54126878884115,"sku":"12264842373470020531","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/7229170200000959003_2048.jpg?v=1778186564"},{"product_id":"rated-one-star-tote-bag","title":"RATED ONE STAR - TOTE BAG","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE BAG—IT’S AN 18x18 BLACK HOLE OF ONE-STAR VENGEANCE THAT SWALLOWS DIGNITY WHOLE! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty, U.S.-printed canvas so thick it could haul your emotional baggage, actual groceries, or the ashes of every business that ever done you wrong—this apocalypse carry-all turns every trip to the store into a rolling public execution of mediocrity! Shove your laptop, wine bottles, or the severed dreams of customer service reps inside while the dual-sided rage graphic announces to the world that you peaked at “disappointed” and never looked back! 100% \u003cspan style=\"white-space-collapse: collapse;\"\u003epolyester\u003c\/span\u003e stronger than your will to live, with handles long enough to sling over your shoulder like a war banner of the walking wounded! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers apologize for existing and strangers part like the Red Sea, we’ll drag Satan through a Spirit Halloween clearance aisle until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the chaos. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable bags and zero mercy!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127141519635,"sku":"12332777668340781857","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/17288604241199252553_2048.jpg?v=1778193200"},{"product_id":"dogs-rottweiler-1","title":"DOGS - ROTTWEILER","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 MOBILE FORTRESS FOR THE ROTTIE RAGE ROYAL’S DAILY REIGN OF TERROR AND TAIL WAGS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul 50-lb kibble bags, tug ropes thicker than your arm, and your shredded reputation, this rolling kingdom turns every errand into a royal procession that screams “yes my dog could eat you and yes he just wants pets”! Shove treats, toys, and the remains of your hoodie sleeves inside while the dual-sided rage mark makes strangers smile nervously from three zip codes away! Handles long enough to sling like a war banner after the latest “gentle giant” ambush! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers back up slowly, we’ll protect hell itself until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the muscle. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bodyguard has a built-in cuddle button!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127143878931,"sku":"23676444092437876394","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/18129188065960749403_2048.jpg?v=1778193743"},{"product_id":"dogs-poodle-1","title":"DOGS - POODLE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 LUXURY CARRIER FOR POODLE PUFF PANDEMONIUM’S ENDLESS DEMANDS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas fancy enough to hold bow ties, organic treats, and your shattered ego, this rolling runway turns every errand into Paris Fashion Week for dogs! Shove brushes, outfits, and emergency lint rollers inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes I spent my rent money on dog couture and I’m proud”! Handles long enough to sling like a designer purse after the latest “I’m not spoiled” performance! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers curtsy, we’ll prance through hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the glamour. Haul the judgment. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag costs more than your rent!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127164195091,"sku":"37919548308032281779","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/11945405554073192289_2048.jpg?v=1778193549"},{"product_id":"dogs-pomeranian-2","title":"DOGS - POMERANIAN","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 PORTABLE EMPIRE FOR THE YIPPY FLUFF TYRANT’S ENDLESS DEMANDS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul treats, brushes, and your shredded dignity, this rolling throne-on-the-go turns every outing into a royal procession that announces a puffball runs your life! Shove toys, outfits, and emergency earplugs inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes I carry a purse for my dog and I’m proud”! Handles long enough to sling like a servant’s yoke after the latest lap takeover! If this tote doesn’t make strangers cover their ears preemptively, we’ll yip at hell’s gates until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the decrees. Haul the reign. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose boss fits in the front pocket!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127175794963,"sku":"11463785937200295999","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/14194337186360194672_2048.jpg?v=1778194391"},{"product_id":"dogs-pit-bull-3","title":"DOGS - PIT BULL","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE BAG—IT’S THE OFFICIAL PIT BULL PARENT SURVIVAL SACK OF ONE-STAR GLORY! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty, U.S.-printed canvas so bulletproof it can haul 47 lbs of kibble, three destroyed couch cushions, a tug rope the size of a fire hose, and still have room for your shattered dreams—this 18x18 apocalypse hauler turns every PetSmart run into a public declaration that your wiggling land-shark runs the damn show! Shove treats, leashes, that apology note to your landlord, or an entire bully breed convention in there while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes this bag is full of muscle and bad decisions” to every Karen clutching her purse! 100% polyester tougher than your pittie’s jaw, handles long enough to sling like a victory flag after surviving another zoomie apocalypse! If this tote doesn’t make strangers smile nervously while your block-head tries to fit inside it, we’ll head-butt the devil himself until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the treats. Haul the havoc. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose best friend has zero chill and all the love!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127184314643,"sku":"15778456776390332625","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/12149759367640461653_2048.jpg?v=1778194723"},{"product_id":"dogs-golden-retriever-3","title":"DOGS - GOLDEN RETRIEVER","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 SHED-MOBILE FOR THE GOLDEN GOOBER GREMLIN’S ENDLESS FETCH CRIMES! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul tennis balls, half the beach, and enough fur to knit another dog, this rolling love-bomb turns every outing into a public announcement that happiness leaves glitter everywhere! Shove toys, towels, and your last clean shirt inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes I live in a golden snow globe and I’m beaming”! Handles long enough to swing like a distress signal after the 47th “just one more throw”! If this tote doesn’t make strangers find fur in their pockets days later, we’ll glitter-bomb hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the chaos. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag is pre-furred!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127192736019,"sku":"27522731653640224562","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/11777524397748440469_2048.jpg?v=1778194303"},{"product_id":"dogs-german-shepherd-1","title":"DOGS - GERMAN SHEPHERD","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 MOBILE ARMORY FOR THE SHEPHERD SHED STORM’S DAILY MISSIONS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul Kongs, bite sleeves, and enough shed fur to stuff a second shepherd, this tactical carry-all turns every trip into a public declaration that protection comes with property damage and pride! Shove leashes, treats, and your last clean shirt inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes my dog can open that gate and yes I’m proud”! Handles long enough to sling like a rifle strap after the 0500 wake-up bark! If this tote doesn’t make strangers give you a wide berth, we’ll patrol hell’s perimeter until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the mission. Haul the loyalty. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag is pre-shedded!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127206367507,"sku":"11532385142544539866","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/7759887365540150316_2048.jpg?v=1781037467"},{"product_id":"dogs-frenchie-1","title":"DOGS - FRENCHIE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 GAS-CHAMBER-ON-THE-GO FOR BAT-EARED BIOTERRORISTS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul allergy meds, air purifiers, and the ashes of your savings, this rolling hazard zone turns every Target run into a public health announcement that your Frenchie’s butt is a registered weapon! Shove toys, treats, and that emergency Febreze arsenal inside while the dual-sided rage mark warns the world you live in a permanent hot-box of love and war crimes! Handles long enough to swing like a warning flare after the latest silent-but-deadly! If this tote doesn’t make strangers hold their breath at checkout, we’ll fart in hell’s elevator until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the wreckage. Haul the haze. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag matches the crime scene!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127214723347,"sku":"32205916986228598526","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/1437443303269276432_2048.jpg?v=1778194806"},{"product_id":"dogs-dachshund-1","title":"DOGS - DACHSHUND","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 UNDERGROUND BUNKER FOR THE DOXIE DIG DICTATOR’S ENDLESS CONQUESTS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul treats, sweaters, and the dirt from your freshly excavated sofa, this rolling tunnel turns every outing into a royal parade that screams “yes my dog is 6 inches tall and runs the planet”! Shove toys, poop bags, and your last shred of dignity inside while the dual-sided rage mark makes strangers smile nervously at the tiny bark with the giant opinion! Handles long enough to sling like a victory flag after the latest blanket takeover! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers offer it a throne, we’ll burrow under hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the loot. Haul the reign. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag fits the whole dictator!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127223210259,"sku":"78410570454754625988","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/4579525885993985689_2048.jpg?v=1778196181"},{"product_id":"dogs-chocolate-lab-1","title":"DOGS - CHOCOLATE LAB","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 CHOCOLATE EVIDENCE LOCKER FOR THE CHAOS FIEND’S CRIMES! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul stolen sandwiches, half the lake, and your last dry towel, this rolling crime-scene turns every grocery run into a public announcement that a cocoa missile runs your life! Shove treats, tennis balls, and the shredded remains of your boundaries inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes everything in here is covered in drool and I’m proud”! Handles long enough to sling like a white flag after the latest fridge raid! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers brace for splash damage, we’ll waterboard hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the chaos. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag matches the crime scene!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127233040659,"sku":"22786080056493022738","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/12878381531393318084_2048.jpg?v=1778195507"},{"product_id":"dogs-choco-lab-3","title":"DOGS - CHOCO LAB","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 CHOCOLATE EVIDENCE LOCKER FOR THE CHAOS FIEND’S CRIMES! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul stolen sandwiches, half the lake, and your last dry towel, this rolling crime-scene turns every grocery run into a public announcement that a cocoa missile runs your life! Shove treats, tennis balls, and the shredded remains of your boundaries inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes everything in here is covered in drool and I’m proud”! Handles long enough to sling like a white flag after the latest fridge raid! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers brace for splash damage, we’ll waterboard hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the chaos. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag matches the crime scene!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127460122899,"sku":"20073164363134633516","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/15495947146887091538_2048.jpg?v=1778203901"},{"product_id":"dogs-french-bulldog-1","title":"DOGS - FRENCH BULLDOG","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 GAS-CHAMBER-ON-THE-GO FOR BAT-EARED BIOTERRORISTS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul allergy meds, air purifiers, and the ashes of your savings, this rolling hazard zone turns every Target run into a public health announcement that your Frenchie’s butt is a registered weapon! Shove toys, treats, and that emergency Febreze arsenal inside while the dual-sided rage mark warns the world you live in a permanent hot-box of love and war crimes! Handles long enough to swing like a warning flare after the latest silent-but-deadly! If this tote doesn’t make strangers hold their breath at checkout, we’ll fart in hell’s elevator until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the wreckage. Haul the haze. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag matches the crime scene!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127462613267,"sku":"91403318746554139590","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/8653580653101153748_2048.jpg?v=1781274831"},{"product_id":"dogs-bulldog-1","title":"DOGS - BULLDOG","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 MOBILE OXYGEN TANK FOR THE BULLDOG BLOAT BEHEMOTH’S DAILY STRUGGLES! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul allergy meds, cooling mats, and enough treats to fund a small country, this rolling wrinkle wagon turns every outing into a public service announcement that love is loud, sweaty, and refuses stairs! Shove harnesses, wipes, and your last dry shirt inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes my dog sounds like a broken accordion and I’d die for him”! Handles long enough to drag like a sled after the 3-foot walk wipes him out! If this tote doesn’t make people offer you a seat on the bus, we’ll wheeze through hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the snorts. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag comes with built-in AC!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127470543123,"sku":"29796069263463321085","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/11663861794061018580_2048.jpg?v=1778204117"},{"product_id":"dogs-boxer-1","title":"DOGS - BOXER","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 DISASTER RELIEF KIT FOR THE BUTT-WIGGLE BRAWLER’S DAILY WRESTLEMANIA! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul slobber-soaked toys, emergency Febreze, and your last intact rib, this rolling chaos carrier turns every errand into a public service announcement that love comes with zoomies and chemical warfare! Shove ropes, balls, and replacement couch cushions inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes my dog just crop-dusted the whole store and we’re proud”! Handles long enough to swing like a victory flag after the latest full-body kidney-bean! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers laugh-cry, we’ll fart in hell’s face until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the havoc. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag survived the wiggle apocalypse!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127479161107,"sku":"29206961194164292487","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/14599719680832077305_2048.jpg?v=1778204754"},{"product_id":"dogs-beagle-1","title":"DOGS - BEAGLE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 EVIDENCE BAG FOR THE BEAGLE BAY BANDIT’S DAILY HEISTS! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul stolen pizza boxes, escape tools, and enough treats to bribe a bloodhound, this rolling crime scene turns every grocery run into a public confession that your dog’s nose is registered as a deadly weapon! Shove leashes, poop bags, and your last intact loaf of bread inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes my dog ate the evidence and I still love him”! Handles long enough to drag like a bloodhound after the latest breakout! If this tote doesn’t smell like contraband from ten feet away, we’ll track hell itself until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the loot. Haul the howl. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag comes with paw prints!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127574581523,"sku":"17415683282125177340","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/8335768662837097688_2048.jpg?v=1778205276"},{"product_id":"people-loud-chewers-5","title":"PEOPLE - LOUD CHEWERS","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE OFFICIAL “PETS \u0026gt; PEOPLE” HAULER THAT CLEARS AISLES FASTER THAN A CAT ON A ROOMBA! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that’s seen less drama than a sleeping kitten, this 18x18 peace carrier turns every errand into a public declaration of allegiance to fur and silence. Shove treats, toys, and zero patience for humans while the dual-sided truth makes complainers go mute. If this tote doesn’t get your groceries scanned in record time, we’ll adopt hell’s strays—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought reusable quiet!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127574712595,"sku":"11987755332038856660","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/13230215254976901093_2048.jpg?v=1778205288"},{"product_id":"people-meat-sacks-5","title":"PEOPLE - MEAT SACKS","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S THE CANINE-APPROVED HAULER THAT TELLS 99.9% OF PEOPLE TO FUCK OFF! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty canvas that smells better than most humans, this 18x18 rage carrier turns every errand into a public service announcement for dogs only. Shove treats, poop bags, and your last fuck while the dual-sided truth makes meat sacks step aside. If this tote doesn’t get your dog extra pets from strangers, we’ll treat-train hell—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss who brought kibble and contempt!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127574810899,"sku":"33303634489920923050","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/2721341794171191151_2048.jpg?v=1778205300"},{"product_id":"dogs-westie-4","title":"DOGS - WESTIE","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 PORTAL TO THE SNOWY SASS GREMLIN’S REIGN OF TERROR! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul poop bags, destroyed remotes, and the dirt from your freshly excavated yard, this black hole of Westie worship turns every errand into a public service announcement that a 20-lb fluff dictator runs your life! Shove treats, leashes, and your last remaining shred of dignity inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes I live in a construction zone and I love it” to every horrified onlooker! Handles long enough to sling like a surrender flag after the daily 5 a.m. ghost-bark symphony! If this tote doesn’t make cashiers brace for impact when your gremlin rides shotgun, we’ll bulldoze hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the dirt. Haul the sass. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose real boss fits in the cup holder!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127593652499,"sku":"32588581739438957803","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/16837249724368908966_2048.jpg?v=1778207288"},{"product_id":"dogs-yellow-lab-3","title":"DOGS - YELLOW LAB","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 DISASTER RELIEF KIT FOR THE CLUMSY SUNSHINE GREMLIN’S DAILY CRIMES! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul shredded toys, half a lake, and your last surviving slipper, this rolling love-bomb turns every outing into a public service announcement that happiness weighs 90 lbs and has elbows! Shove tennis balls, towels, and replacement couch cushions inside while the dual-sided rage mark screams “yes I live in a demolition derby and I’m beaming”! Handles long enough to swing like a distress signal after the latest full-speed hug! If this tote doesn’t make strangers brace for impact, we’ll crash-tackle hell until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the love. Haul the chaos. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose bag is pre-destroyed!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127600763155,"sku":"81346459735663450452","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/4284137146448498658_2048.jpg?v=1778208649"},{"product_id":"las-vegas-5","title":"LAS VEGAS","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS AIN’T JUST A TOTE—IT’S AN 18x18 EVIDENCE BAG FOR THE GREEDY CORPORATIONS THAT ROBBED YOU BLIND! Blasted with our screaming Rated One Star logo on BOTH SIDES of heavy-duty U.S.-printed canvas tough enough to haul your empty wallet, leftover weed shame, and the ashes of your vacation budget, this rolling indictment turns every walk of shame into a public execution of the Strip! Shove receipts, regrets, and that $30 cocktail napkin inside while the dual-sided rage screams “I got messed over six ways to Sunday and all I got was this bag”! If this tote doesn’t make valets apologize for existing, we’ll triple-zero roulette until you’re howling—no questions asked! Load the loss. Haul the hate. Carry the One Star like the final boss whose souvenirs are trauma and tote bags!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester durable medium-weight body (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Boxed corners for extra carrying space\u003cbr\u003e- Reinforced double-stitched handles for added strength\u003cbr\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with seamless black inner stitching\u003cbr\u003e- 18 inches by 18 inches\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":54127713550611,"sku":"29927576986404206926","price":28.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0987\/2300\/4691\/files\/16595646560893093067_2048.jpg?v=1778207867"}],"url":"https:\/\/ratedonestar.com\/collections\/tote-bags.oembed","provider":"Rated One Star","version":"1.0","type":"link"}